Saturday, September 6, 2008

Beware of Fiber One Bars!!!

Last night at 12:15, I woke up to Eli's pitiful wails. He's a good sleeper, so him waking up in the middle of the night usually signals an ear infection or some other illness. We've just gotten his ears clear, so I wasn't sure what the deal was. I went to hold him and settle him, thinking it would be a quick fix, but he was completely hysterical. If I held him he would arch his back and squirm out of my arms, and if I put him down he would fall to the floor and scream. Kris tried, nothing helped. At this point I'm thinking, "Okay, something is terribly wrong." So, I undressed him completely and looked him over trying to think of anything that could explain his incessant crying. I didn't see anything and my touches to any particular area didn't seem to bother him more than just his general, all-around agony. We took him on the porch to swing him. That has always calmed him when nothing else would. But when even entertainment from Ally, our cat, didn't soothe him, I felt ready to get in the car and head to the emergency room.

And then Kris casually mentioned, "He just farted." And I knew.

Earlier that day we had taken a trip to Target. I really pushed it because we didn't leave until it was way past his normal lunch time. And I paid for it on the way to meet Kris for lunch because Eli was begging for something to eat. The only thing I had with me was Fiber One granola bars. I can hear those of you who have ever had one of these saying, "Ooh, Hannah, you didn't!" But I did. And not just one bar, but one and a half. For those of you who have never experienced these things:

They are amazing! They taste great and they have nine grams of fiber in them per bar. But, oh my! When you're not used to them, they give you gas in the worst way. The kind that will have you doubled over, swearing you're about to give birth. Kate and Kristin, I would NOT recommend you eat these!

Back to Eli, he did eventually calm down. After a little bit of Baby Einstein and an apology from Mama.


Anonymous said...

Oh. My. Gosh.

I too have learned this ever painful lesson...first hand...and it is not pretty. :)

I'm giggling, not at your son's pain, but at the absurdity I know it creates trying to figure out why on earth I feel like I'm passing a tumor the size of a grapefruit through my intestines.

Hope all is well.

Christy Ward said...

this made me laugh soo hard!! I heart fiber one bars, but I will be sure not to give one to Andrew! Thanks for sharing this tip!

Micah and Shireen said...

I am glad I read this one...another note to tuck away...don't give Laily fiber one bars. Sounds funny now, but I am sure it was terrible at the moment. Poor little guy!

Marce said...

Too Funny!! If it were acceptable as an adult, I would have cried in an hysterical fit after having eaten too many of these.