My Husband Is a Genius and My Baby Is Houdini

I think Judah hates Blogger. Every time I sit down to put something on my blog he starts wailing. Anyhow...

When it comes to our children, Kris has a knack/gift/divine talent, call it what you like, for observing and solving problems. While I keep doing the same thing over and over again, wondering why nothings changing, he'll watch and then make some passing remark about "Maybe you should try such and such." And nine times out of ten, he gets it right on the mark.

Judah has been doing fine at night, but sometimes he grunts and wiggles like he's uncomfortable, even though he's not really awake. It's loud enough that it keeps me awake, and it seems like he's not really sleeping well either. So, Kris says, "Maybe you should try feeding him just on one side. I think he seems satisfied after that and you're just waking him up when you try to feed him on the other side." I've learned that his suggestions are always worth trying, and as usual, he was right. Judah is much more restful at night now that I've started feeding him less. Imagine.

Judah has a talent, too. He does a disappearing act. I made a pallet for him at Kris' parents' house the other night and laid him down. I kept checking on him, and he was passed out with his mouth wide open. We ate dinner, cleaned up and played with the other boys a bit, and then I went to check on him again. He was not where I had left him, which surprised me a little bit, but being that Kris is well known for practical jokes, I wasn't concerned. Until I saw Judah laying on the carpet in Mrs. Bonnie's closet. I marched out to the room where Kris was, trying to laugh at the "funny joke" while I was really furious and said, "So you just laid him on the bare carpet?" He looked at me a little stunned and said, "What are you talking about? What happened?" I said, "You didn't move the baby?" At this point, he jumped up and we both went back into his parents' room where Judah was snuggled up next to Mrs. Bonnie's tennis shoe. He had scooted himself a foot to the left and three feet forward. Poor fella had carpet lint and some other, unidentifiable lints matted to his face and was breathing like he had just run a marathon. Needless to say, I felt like mom of the year. I learned an important lesson, though. I won't be laying Judah down on any beds unattended. Ever.

Beware of Fiber One Bars!!!

Last night at 12:15, I woke up to Eli's pitiful wails. He's a good sleeper, so him waking up in the middle of the night usually signals an ear infection or some other illness. We've just gotten his ears clear, so I wasn't sure what the deal was. I went to hold him and settle him, thinking it would be a quick fix, but he was completely hysterical. If I held him he would arch his back and squirm out of my arms, and if I put him down he would fall to the floor and scream. Kris tried, nothing helped. At this point I'm thinking, "Okay, something is terribly wrong." So, I undressed him completely and looked him over trying to think of anything that could explain his incessant crying. I didn't see anything and my touches to any particular area didn't seem to bother him more than just his general, all-around agony. We took him on the porch to swing him. That has always calmed him when nothing else would. But when even entertainment from Ally, our cat, didn't soothe him, I felt ready to get in the car and head to the emergency room.

And then Kris casually mentioned, "He just farted." And I knew.

Earlier that day we had taken a trip to Target. I really pushed it because we didn't leave until it was way past his normal lunch time. And I paid for it on the way to meet Kris for lunch because Eli was begging for something to eat. The only thing I had with me was Fiber One granola bars. I can hear those of you who have ever had one of these saying, "Ooh, Hannah, you didn't!" But I did. And not just one bar, but one and a half. For those of you who have never experienced these things:



They are amazing! They taste great and they have nine grams of fiber in them per bar. But, oh my! When you're not used to them, they give you gas in the worst way. The kind that will have you doubled over, swearing you're about to give birth. Kate and Kristin, I would NOT recommend you eat these!

Back to Eli, he did eventually calm down. After a little bit of Baby Einstein and an apology from Mama.

Oye Vey!!

Some days are better than others, I get that. But we're talking about WEEKS here. Eli has been somewhat miserable for most of his life, it seems. But the past two weeks have been really rough. We get a few moments off from the fussing here and there(about five minutes for every hour that he's awake), but for the majority of the time, he's fussing. He's had a cold and he's teething. I hate to take him to the doctor because every time I do they say, "Nope, ears are clear. He just has a cold. Give it time." Then again, I'm tempted to take him to the doctor and beg them to prescribe something for me! I think the worst part is how on edge the constant whining makes me feel. Luke gets sick of it, too. He gets wild and a little aggressive. He gets loud and rough, Eli cries more, I get really irritated and I end up taking it out on Luke. Granted, Luke has been a little more disobedient, too, but no amount of disobedience deserves my uncontrolled anger being directed at him.

Before children I never had a temper problem....amazing what kids can cause you to see deep inside your heart. Not only the lack of self-control, but the lack of trust. I'm afraid. And I play the what-if game. What if Eli is fussy and whiny until he goes to college. What if he has a difficult personality? What will the two's be like? What if I never truly get to enjoy him. Don't get me wrong, I love that child fiercly. He is my heart. I would not trade him for my life before him for all the world. But I just want more smiles. I want more happiness from him. I want him to enjoy being alive, for crying out loud! I feel like once he can walk he'll be happier. He hates being left behind and is happiest when he's being held by the hands to walk around. I just really, really, REALLY hope he learns to walk soon. And if that doesn't help....Oye Vey!!!