When I first began blogging, it was an outlet, a way to connect, a way to document "the moments", and it was just fun. We had a little blogging community, several of us moms with toddlers and preschoolers. I would write, knowing that my friends in the same stage of life would be writing and reading along with me. Our kids have gotten a little older, our lives a little busier, and blogging has tapered off. I miss it, that feeling of being connected with those not close enough to share a play date. I also know it is just the natural progression of life.
I feel I need to shift the focus of my blog slightly. Anyone reading along (anyone???) may not notice the difference. In my mind, my audience to this point, has been outward - those out there reading. These days, I find myself wanting to keep track of the memories of our days so my children will know how present I am for every moment of their lives. I'm in this thing, kids. I'm not wishing away your days. I'm feeling and enjoying and remembering and aching for this very moment. I'm here. One hundred percent of me. Do I some times lose my cool and act like it's all too much? Yep. Because, sometimes, it feels very much like too much. But that moment passes, and I'm back on track, and I'm right where I want to be more than anywhere else in the world. I'm giving you all of me. I hope when you look back on your childhood you feel that completely.
But just in case you don't...I write. And it's for you, Luke. You, Eli. You, Judah. You, Susanna. When you've outgrown my lap, you can look back here and know that I counted every single one of your childhood days as my treasure.
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