Memories of Love

Last Friday night when Luke was sick we got him settled in bed and went to bed ourselves a few hours later. As soon as we got the light off he called us because he had thrown up again. Since he's such a big boy now, he had thrown up into his pan and really just needed a little comforting and a clean pan. We got him settled again, got back in our bed and he called out again. I went to check and he hadn't thrown up, he just felt so bad. Rather than going back to my own bed I crawled in the bed with him to just be there and pat him when he needed it.

I've always had the most random little memories that float up when I can't seem to remember the big things that everyone else does. And that night in Luke's bed I had the most vivid memory of laying with my very own pan on Daddy's side of the bed that he had vacated so I could be the patient and my own mama the comforter. I remember it being a long night that lasted far past the point where my stomach had nothing left to lose and to the point where the only thing that I needed was Mama just to be there and pat me when I needed it.

That's not the first time I've remembered that night, but it is the first time I've remembered that night with such gratitude. Gratitude for my Daddy being willing to give up his side of the bed when he had to get up and go to work the next day, and gratitude for my Mama being willing to tend to me all night, never saying or doing anything to make me realize that next day was going to be even more tiring and difficult for her than that night. I got to stay in bed. She still had to get up and "do the day" with the other four kids.

There are so many things we can never appreciate about our parents until we are one. I could never appreciate all the times Mama worried if my temperature had risen or the rash on my leg had spread or if the finger I had smashed would be disfigured or the patch of hair on my head that had gotten ripped out would grow back before I was permanently emotionally scarred. And I could never appreciate all the financial stresses, farm business, safety issues, stressed out Mama moments that Daddy dealt with. I could never appreciate the times they comforted me concerning all the things I had no business worrying about in the first place. I could never appreciate the thousands of words and thoughts they had spent on me. How to teach this and deal with that and discipline for this and love through that.

As a parent, I appreciate all the things they DID do and I can't even remember the things they didn't do. I am so grateful for every moment they were patient with me instead of the few times they lost their cool. I am so grateful for games we played, the trips we went on, the movies we watched, the meals we shared, the friends of ours they welcomed, the times we all piled in the bed together, the memories we made. I am so grateful for the price they paid to help me be who I am. And I am so grateful for the price they are paying even now to continue being my Mama and Daddy, loving and supporting and encouraging me as I'm walking through the same journey they walked as they raised me and my siblings.

And I'm grateful they have never been perfect. It gives me hope. Hope that one day, in spite of all the mistakes Kris and I are making on a daily basis, our own children will have the very same revelation. Parents love with their whole being. It takes everything out of them. It's never fully appreciated, never fully understood, never fully accepted. But it is never wasted.

You Know It's Time For a Haircut When...

You wake up looking like this:

After a few snips in the front, you look like an 80's child (I almost went into labor laughing at this):

You're willing to let ANYBODY cut your hair:
The finished product of Eli's hair for those of you who were concerned:

Luke and Kris' hair look equally as fetching.

The Van!

Here are the promised photos!

Luke and Eli were way more interested in the DVD player than saying cheese for the camera. They love the van almost as much as Mama does.

What A Week!

Aunt Ann emailed me to chastise me about not keeping up with my blog. I have to confess that I haven't been overly motivated to stay on top of it lately. After this week, I think an update is in order.

Luke went to VBS this week at a friend's church. Every day at drop off time he was a little clingy, but he was always a chatter box and bouncing off the walls when I picked him up. I was so proud of him, and I think it was a great experience for all of us. On Tuesday he said he didn't want to go. When I told him that I was going to the YMCA because I REALLY needed some exercise and he could choose to go there with me or to VBS. He looked at me and said, "How 'bout I go get your exercise bideo and you can do your exercises here? Does that sound like a plan?" After I told him that wouldn't work he decided that VBS was more fun than the Y and said, "I didn't want to go to VBS for five seconds, but now I changed my mind." Where do they come up with this stuff?

Eli decided that he likes being any only child, at least for short periods of time. After we dropped Luke off the first day and were walking back to the car Eli said, "Where's Wukey?" I told him he was staying and wouldn't be riding in the car. He double checked, "Wukey not ride in the car?" Nooo. So he said, "I'na sit in Wukey's seat!" That kid knows how to take advantage of a situation. Later in the morning he looked at me and said, "I happy!" By Friday, though, he was looking for Luke and ready for him to be home.

I decided to try to work on potty training while it was just me and Eli. He did very well. We're still working on #2, but he stays dry all day. He just has a poop "accident" every day. Accident is in quotes because I'm pretty sure it's not an accident at all. But he's still very young and we're just getting started, so I'm giving him grace for a little while. I was reminded, though, how insane it is to go out without lots of supplies. The first "accident" was in McDonald's in the middle of lunch. When I had left the diaper bag at home. You can tell this is kid number two. I didn't leave the house at all the entire first week of potty training Luke. Let's just say the McDonald's staff would be horrified to know what transpired in their ladies room that day.

Tuesday and Wednesday nights were very late for all of us. After Kris got home from work we loaded up and went van shopping (Tuesday to look and Wednesday to buy). We are the proud owners of a "gently used" Honda Odyssey. I'll put a picture up later, but let's just say I love it already. Luke cried Thursday morning when he realized we had gotten rid of our "small car", but I think he's over it now and loves the van almost as much as I do.

Thursday and Friday I dropped Luke off at VBS and ran errands all morning with Eli until it was time to pick Luke up. He was over it by the end of the morning but perfect until the very end (when he laid on the ground and burst into tears from exhaustion. At that point I considered joining him.). It was a very productive and exhausting week.

Luke decided it wasn't exciting enough and decided to cap the week off with a stomach bug. He is watching preaching on TV right now. He feels too bad to care what's on.

Aunt Ann, I hope this catches you up. I'll try to do better in the future.

4th of July in Georgia

We went to Daddy and Mama 's lake house this past weekend for a long weekend. Kate and her family and Miles and his family came over on Saturday. It was wild and lots of fun.

Eli is fearless in the water (way more so than he should be).

I guess this is technically drinking and driving, but it's a closed course.

Happy boys!