Luke's Nashville Trip

Trying to catch up here, so I'm going way back to 2017. In the early part of the year (I can't even remember exactly when!), Luke and I took a trip to Nashville to visit Raeanna and Josh. They had lots of fun things planned for you, Luke, mostly things you had requested. We had to find you a jacket for the symphony before we left, and you enjoyed dressing up a bit.

We flew, of course. I think it was the first time you had flown since you were about 4 so you were pretty excited. 

Their first treat for you was a Predators' hockey game. You had never been to an ice hockey game, but you totally understood what was going on and really got into it.

 Uncle Josh has a really cool drum set, and you were starting to get into the idea of music and loved that you could play as much as you wanted.

We both looked very nice for our night at the symphony. It was a really cool experience for both of us.

The science center was a fun experience too. You liked trying out all the things and really enjoyed the moon walk. It did take a little getting used to...

 We missed the snow by a few days, unfortunately. But Aunt Raeanna saved you some in the freezer. :)

Woah! I fell off the blogging wagon big time. But I want to be back on it, so.....

Luke, you are now 13 (you'll be 14 in less than 3 weeks!). Eli, you're 12. Judah, you're 9. And Susanna, you've just turned 6. You guys are the laughter in my belly, the tears in my eyes, the peace in my heart. You absolutely make me feel alive every single day. And we are doing life well. We fight, we fail, we make things really messy, and we learn and grow. We're doing life well. I have learned so, so, so much from you four. I am a different person than who I was before you. And I am so grateful to be your mama.

I want to capture what's happening these days and all the awesome ways you are succeeding and growing in life. I want to have a record of the moments and a place to put your videos and pictures and copies of your awards and creativity. I want YOU to be able to look back and celebrate yourself just as your daddy and I are celebrating you.

You are still my favorite treasures!

Peach Perfection

While you were not nearly as excited about our little impromptu photo shoot, I think we can both be pleased with the outcome. And really, you looked too beautiful in this second generation, homemade dress to not capture the moment, even if it took a garbage truck and some choking hazards to get you to stay still. 

Sleeeeeeeeeppppyyyyyy

This pretty much sums up how we all feel about right now. Late nights and early mornings. Not enough time for snuggling down and sleeping in. 

Spring break in one week!

At the Ball Field

That's where we'll be if anybody needs us.

I knew this day would come. We've put it off through pregnancy, infancy, moving, building, moving again...as long as we possibly could. And now, it's time. We're at the ball field. Almost every day of the week. Well, I should say, Kris is at the ball field. I'm mostly home with Susanna and whoever else doesn't want to go that day.

Luke, you are so fun to watch out there. You are strong and sturdy, confident and brave. You dive after every ball and catch most of them. You swing wisely, taking instruction from your coach, taking the misses in stride. When you connect, it's a solid base hit most every time. You hustle. You focus. You excel. And you love every second. As I think on how you play ball, I can truthfully say that is just how you do life. It's fun to watch you do life too.

Eli, this is the first time you've played on your own team without Luke. I have been so proud of you, how you've been determined to practice and improve. You have the most graceful and natural throw and swing. When you swing the bat, it looks like you were born with a bat in your hand. That's a gift. I feel confident this will be your season of excellence. Not only because you'll get hits and make catches, but because you have such a great attitude about working hard and so much humility. You are a team player in every sense of the word, both on the field and at home.

Both of you boys bring me so much joy. I couldn't be more proud of you.

Judah

Judah,

My 100% child. Everything you do is 100%. Whatever it is, it's going to be 100% happy, 100% sad, 100% mad, 100% walking, running, jumping, laughing, hugging, kicking, messing up or cleaning up...you don't do life halfway. You are strong-willed. Blatantly so. Your brothers may be strong-willed, they're just a little quieter about it. But you, you let the world know that you know what you want.

Guess what.

I love that about you. I love that you are determined. I love that you feel so deeply and strongly. I love that you express yourself fully and openly. No hidden emotions and desires with you.

Judah, I owe you so much thanks. Thank you for not letting me control you. Thank you for shattering my illusions that I ever had control over any of you, my little treasures. Thank you for forcing me to find another way to parent. You have always questioned and pushed back and stomped on my demands. You have caused me to get on my knees in frustration and desperation before God, the very best parent ever, and cry out, "God! How do YOU do it?!"

My desperation has opened the door to His grace. It's His kindness that leads to repentance. Not His demands. Not His wrath. Not foot stomping, threatening, punishing. He's not so keen on those things. But only as you have required me to search for a better way have I seen that is not how He operates. He doesn't manipulate or guilt trip. He loves. He trusts. He is kind. He is not seeking His own way. He is desiring us to find the best way and choose it. When we don't, He continually calls out to us and draws us back to His heart. And when we do, He cheers us on and throws a feast.

I'm not perfect at His parenting style, Judah. I'm still figuring out what it looks like in this world. You know that better than anyone else. But you also do grace better than most. Whenever I fall back into thinking that if I stomp my size fives a little harder you'll obey, you show me it doesn't work, which reminds me obedience is not the end goal anyway. I'm not responsible for your behavior but your heart. And when I remember the truth and come back home to it, you welcome me with a grace-filled hug.

Thank you, my third baby bear.

Love,
Mom

Bubbles

When you boys were little, I always had so much fun showing you new things.  You would get excited about everything, and it always made my day. With Susanna, it has been double the fun because I've had the pleasure of you boys' company as we together watch her discover her world.

Bubbles!

 Trying to blow like big brother, Luke

 This picture cracks me up every time I see it!

 So fun that her big brothers teach her new things.

Susanna loves a ride, and Eli loves to give it.

  (Rides are a lot more enjoyable now that the big brothers know to keep her toes up. Her toenails are finally growing out, too.)