Luke Rides a Bike

The Kitchen Is Closed (Almost)

I've been working on weaning Judah for the past month or so, hanging on to those last morning and evening feedings just for cuddling purposes.  With some baby-free vacations coming up quickly (Judah doesn't know yet, so don't spill the beans.), I figured I needed to finish the job before leaving him with Grandma for a week for three very important reasons: 

1. Somehow I doubt she would appreciate me leaving him with her while he still expects someone to take their shirt off for him twice a day.
2. I have no interest in taking a breast pump on a cruise.  Been there, done that, not signing up for it again.
3. Judah has only been eating on one side for a while now, and while being lopsided in full clothing isn't so bad, it's a little tricky to camouflage in a bikini. 

So, with the exception of the moments when he wants to double check that the tank is indeed empty, I am officially finished nursing Judah. 

Sigh. 

Who Says Men Aren't Observant?

A conversation with my boys after picking them up from school today...

Luke: So, Mama, where did that shirt come from?
Eli: Yeah, is it new?
Me: I've had it for a long time, I just don't wear it that much.  Do you like it?
Eli: Yeah!
Luke: Yeah, it looks like it would be perfect for Valentine's Day!

I felt like I had just been hanging out with my girl friends.  How funny!

Messy

My friend came over for lunch last week while the big boys were in school and Judah napped so we could celebrate her birthday.  She commented, "Your house is so clean every time I come over.  I can't even keep up in our house and it's just the two of us." 

Ummm...of course it was clean.  I knew she was coming over. 

At pretty much any other given moment, this is what my house looks like:

So often I feel like people have the idea that because I almost always have a smile on my face that I "have it all together".  What does that even mean?  Children are messy.  I am messy. Family is messy. Relationships are messy.  Life is messy. NOBODY has it all together.  Some of us are just better at pretending and hiding than others.   

Perfection looks like Jesus.  Period.  When I start comparing my life to anyone else's, I become dissatisfied. I want the things they have while they're wanting what I have.  I wish I could do the work that she does while she just wants to stay home.  I try to mimic his personality while he's trying to be someone else entirely.

"Godliness with contentment is great gain." (1Tim. 6:6)  Everybody gains something when I keep my eyes on Jesus.  I will be the very best version of me when I don't try to be like anyone else but Him. I know this, and yet, I forget.  And the messiness starts to bother me.  

I have to keep reminding myself that if I didn't have the "messy" I wouldn't have the children, the family, the relationships, the life.  What fun is that?